transiberian orchestra

(they really rock; classically as well)


Goede midag,

I still have to wear the wrist brace on and off for two weeks and do excercises. Other than that it's definitely improving.

I've been trying to record songs I wrote quite some time ago but am having trouble getting the files to the proper format needed to upload them to my music myspace. Oh well...in time you will hear them...maybe...


There's a band called mewithoutYou that I've been really getting into lately. They are really raw and their lyrics are very metaphorical and profound. I just bought the album "Brother, Sister" and have been listening to it nonstop. If you like lyrics that make you think, this is a really good group for that.

sssiiiiiiiighhhhh.

soundless

Soundless

I.

I hate you.

I do not need you.

The words echoed across the harsh, jagged grey cliffs.

All was quiet for an eternity. Wind hollowly sounded around the precipices.

The air was oppressive with the discomfort of uneasiness and doubt. But there need be no doubt. He hated.

And then an answer came, like an earthquake.

YOU WILL KNOW.

And then silence fell, again. This time with real weight. Hate was very present.

Eons of soundlessness went by and it seemed that it would never lift. Empty waves undulated to break and then never did.

But then it broke, and he longed, cried, ached, for the silence to return.

There had never been such a noise, for there never had been any noise in this desolate world.

It was a bleak, brittle desert and there was black smoke in the air; its poisonous fumes suffocating and dense. Fire burned ferociously in the distance, drawing ever nearer; unquenched by water for there was none, and even if there were it would have fed its fury.

Time itself was different. Not because it was endless but because there was nothing to measure it from; nothing to measure it to. Nothing to wait for.

And the noise...it deafened, crashed, wailed. There was no end and there never would be. Rocks and boulders fell, flaming, shattering. Chains from all around and below clanged together, grinding out a condemning despair. All were condemned; all condemned his neighbor.

The land itself was full of malice, and impenetrable. Again metal ground against the stone earth but was deafened by the increasing sound that was louder than all the rest. The sound of weeping, crying, pleading, dying. The endlessly dug their own graves...and then began again. Always dying, never dying. The sound of hearts breaking.

This was life, this was hopeless, this was death.

There was no God.

II.

Death stood personified with every evil. His face was blank but full of expression.

All that was not good emanated from him. He was king, he knew no other. Tyrant, unopposed.

All lived to die, but death never came and their very souls craved and coveted it. They hungered for violence and thrived on it, yet envied those lives they ended. But what they ended still continued on in pain.

This would never end, this was all that had been and would be. Forsaken, accident, chaos. It didn’t really matter. There was no hope, for there was no God.

Pain seeped in through all the cracks and doubts of his mind. He reeled and screamed. It was a different sound than those fallen beings. It was realization, fear, and now despair; pride wrenched from his heart. He had refused, he had hated all that was beautiful, he had been punished.

I NEED YOU.

All-powerful arms wrapped around him unseen in deep love, and all was quiet.

Gift

III.

A girl stood on the edge of a cliff, her mind trying to drown itself in pain.

Remember what he said. Remember what you felt like. Remember the anger, and then self loathing.

It’s not my fault. It’s Your fault. Now it will be gone.

She took a step closer to the edge, shutting out all thoughts but those that drove her to this madness of desperation. She almost succeeded. Everything was a whirlwind of her mistakes and hopelessness. But then her maker spoke.

Why do you throw away what I have made beautiful?

Because I have corrupted myself. I was never beautiful.

To me you are.

There is no reason for this lie.

I made you!

Why bother?

Because you bring me great joy.

I know that I have brought no one joy...except perhaps now in my death.

Because you have thrown away.

What was I to do?

You ran away from me.

But You failed me.

You never trusted me.

Because you were not there.

I was always there.

Then what did you do? Show me. No one has ever shown me anything but themselves.

I gave myself.

No one would do that. It would be the opposite of humanity!

I am not humanity.

Humanity does not deserve it.

But I did still.

That was foolish.

It was because I love you.

Show me.

I have.

You are spirit, you feel nothing.

I FEEL EVERYTHING. And now will you.

III.

The cliff was gone. All that was her life now was a wide cosmic plain. There was nothing but deep blue emptiness in all directions. After wandering a long time across the peaceful space, words came.

I spoke with my maker.

She walked, pacing, unthinking, but in the back of her mind many things were pondered.

Years it seemed...years there were. It didn’t feel like time.

Suddenly a thought crossed her mind. It is me now.

From this time on she planned, anticipated, and delighted. She could love now.

After many more years had past in this other worldly plain, the day had dawned.

Come, she said.

And there they were, tall, beautiful, perfect, new. They could not see her, but they could hear her voice, and so she spoke with them often.

They paced side by side, although to them she was invisible. Hours on end they laughed, and she loved. She saw how unutterably precious a thing it was to create and throw oneself completely into living for another.

One day there was a splinter in the flawless world; another voice that came and went. It was a black voice, smothered in honey.

Come, it said, follow me and you will be happy.

We are happy, they replied. Our maker loves us.

You cannot see your maker. You can see me.

Blackness came into the plain.

They were entranced, and followed him.

Do not go, for he will harm you! she cried out. But they were distracted.

It will be fine, we just want to see him. I love you, maker.

I love you, children.

They followed him until they could see the blackness closely.

Now, he said, let me show you excitement.

We have excitement. We have all we will ever need.

No, this will give you the power to overcome yourself. You do not have that now.

Do we need it, maker?

No, child, she said. Please, stay.

We want to go, maker, they said, wavering.

You have a choice. But it will only bring you pain.

We will be fine.

They sped away, mesmerized by the blackness. Her eyes followed them. They came to a stream, and she saw that it held death.

Stay away, she called out. By this time they barely heard her.

You will feel like nothing you have ever felt like before, he said. You will be like your maker.

We just wanted excitement, they said.

This is more than you have dreamed of.

They glanced behind, and she screamed. Do not drink the water!

We will be fine, they answered. How would you know?

They drew closer.

No! she gasped. And spoke herself beside them.

Do not drink the water, she said.

What would you know? Get away. We want his water now.

She stepped between the stream and her beloved. The blackness loomed high. The expression of her creation had changed. Now they looked at her with disdain.

We don’t want you anymore. We don’t need you; leave us alone. It is our choice and we have made it.

She stepped forward, still before the stream. Their eyes bored into her and she would not give way. Arms reached out to grasp her and pulled her down.

No, she cried, I want to save you.

We don’t need to be saved, we can do it on our own. There is nothing to fear here.

I CREATED YOU. I love you. The water will kill you.

They laughed, and the blackness surrounded them all. Their hands hacked into her heart and penetrated her mind. The love they saw overwhelmed them.

If she is so afraid of the stream, why do we not put her into the water?
The blackness sweetly muttered its approval.

She gasped for air and the poison filled her lungs. Stepping out, she saw the looks of scorn and derision on their faces. She fell to the ground. Pain numbed and shocked every part of her soul and body. They had rejected her. What she would give her life for hated her with all that they were. This pain was worse than any physical dying tremor she felt. She knew what it felt like to give herself up and be betrayed by those whose very existence they owed to her.

The floor writhed beneath her as the poison did its work.

They stepped to the very bank of the stream. With her last strength she jumped in front of them and her whole length stretched across the water. The blackness covered them and vanished, as their eyes were opened.

Deep blue filled her mind as the girl woke by the side of the cliff. Her heart still felt as if it had been ripped open. She looked down and she was soaked to the skin, her body worn and pale.

She rose, and walked away.

Now I can live.

Combinations

Wrote this awhile ago. Really basic what-I-think-of-the-best-album-of-2007.

Now that I've listened to it nonstop since Friday and have most of the songs memorised, I feel I can describe it somewhat. It's your choice to read this so be prepared for a lengthy Eisley-praising session, though I'll try not to be biased, and also say what I don't like. =)

First of all, Combinations is a very good name for this album because so many of the songs are so different from each other and they've changed a lot since the old one. You can almost divide this record into several parts.
Stacy and Sherri's vocals and harmonies are still exquisite, and Sherri sounds somwhat less harsh than before (see Telescope Eyes) and you can really hear the glassiness of her voice. Stacy sounds as rich and sultry as before; she and her keyboard "own" this CD...And finally Chauntelle sings! Just a little bridge on I Could Be There For You, but it's very pretty. At the end of Come Clean, the whole band sings, including the guys.

Someone on their site says about their voices -
Stacy - peanut butter
Sherri - jelly
Chauntelle - the milk to wash it down
Kind of silly but it's a good description...

Ok, now song by song.

1 - Many Funerals
2 - Invasion
3 - Taking Control
4 - Go Away
5 - I Could Be There For You
6 - Come Clean
7 - Ten Cent Blues
8 - A Sight to Behold
9 - Combinations
10 - If You're Wondering

Many Funerals - I love this one! It's a lot darker and somewhat heavier than they usually do, and is quite sad...it's about someone who's grown up at sea and someone dies. "How could you have left us here, you had friends, had us, good bye...good bye...good bye..." It sounds kind of like a flood, but that doesn't really make sense.

And now they have no chances
They fill the empty caskets
And leave you with your tears
And, oh, now we take our chances
We all will take more chances
Before our lives end, too

Invasion - Based on the Invasion of the Body Snatcher by Jack Finney....the music video for it is amazing. The song is half mysterious, half panicked, half hopeful. "They will try to make us forget ourselves; one by one, one by one. You don't have to know the truth, if you believe it, I believe it too."

Taking Control - Really cool sounding...I don't like how repetitive the lyrics are but it's got awesome harmony and just a lot of the traditional-to-Eisley "ooooooh ahhh ooooh whoaa" thing which is lovely. (yes that sounds silly...it's not)

Go Away - Kind of sad but really cute song. With a lot of Eisley vocal weirdness, during the chorus....the high breaking voices. And the bridge is really neat!

I Could Be There For You - I think this is going to become an Eisley staple like Marvelous Things on the first album. It's got really good (again, somewhat sad) lyrics, and Stacy's voice is just wicked, as is Chauntelle finally singing. "Would someone please walk through with me? I've got nothing to hide, no where to be. Why do we have to come through here? Cause nothing leads me to you. You are nothing what you seem, you're always looking out for me, and I could be there for you."

Come Clean - I still love it of course but this is probably my least favourite on Combinations. Somewhat repetitive lyrics and stuff. But their voices are clear as usual and Stacy sounds especially good at the beginning.

Ten Cent Blues - My FAVOURITE song on the album....at first I just liked it because of the lyrics since I connected with them a lot, but then just fell in love with the whole song...Stacy at her best, and you can tell it's one of her writing as well as her voice, since it's so abstract. "Dear orthodox, I can't control my feelings. And who hit me? I just might be coming round the bush." *sigh* love this track.

A Sight to Behold - This song is evilly amazing. Again, heavy for Eisley. A lot of plain vocalisations. Cool lyrics. There's one point when the music stops and they hold one note for a really long time with a strong harmony and it's like WOW. This song's got power y'all =P
"Let's break the walls down and find how to live; cause you and I have so much to give"

Combinations - *sigh* Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous. It has a lot of exotic instruments in it and is just really pretty. The verses, bridge, and chorus are all different in tune and words and it's so varied and lovely. Um, I cried the first time I heard it...
'Pass the evening, bring tomorrow
How could we know that night would bring us into daylight
Combinations all around us
Fill our heads with the love we've been feeling
For time long past.

I went for so long
And I was so wrong
And then I met you
And now I can't live without you
And I don't want to
I've done that all my life up till now"

And the best part, the bridge, which Stacy sings. "All the time darling now oh, all the time, now we'll have to make it up, we'll make it up oh, all the days darling now oh, all the days, now we'll have to make them up, we'll make them up somehow..." It's probably my favourite part of the CD, just that bridge.

If You're Wondering - A cross between a lullaby and a love song. Eisley has said "when in doubt of the meaning of a song, it's a love song" so that goes for a lot of them. This one is really light and melodic. "If the moon shines on you while you're sleeping; it will show you all that you're feeling inside. And if I'm wondering then you show me; if you're wondering, I know."


The whole CD is lush, breathtaking, metaphorical, and just beautiful. I love Eisley =) They started out by playing in their church's worship team, and then playing as a band in a coffee shop. And they are huge Starbucks fans (and self professed cereal addicts). All of them (especially Sherri and Weston) are hilarious, Stacy writes the most beautiful writer, and Sherri is my favourite artist and has inspired me a lot with her drawings. They're still somewhat of a struggling band but are working their way up there. They've been a band since Stacy was 8, and she's 18 now. She wrote the first song.


I hope I've convinced you to at least listen on their myspace =) But it's really bad quality and actually may be different recordings cause it doesn't sound as good.
with love,
Cait

Currently listening :

MRI

Hooi,

Last week I had an MRI on my wrist and the results came back ok, but there is still damage. Another appointment tomorrow.

Yesterday I saw No Reservations with Liz and Elisabeth...it was really fun and the film was so cute =) I love cooking movies. But we also had to say good bye to Tach, who is moving to Doha...that was sad, as always. Liz left today for Canada to go back to uni.

Today we began school. This year I'm doing Bible, Physics, Trigonometry, literature, history, and Dutch. I am loving Dutch so far and have been working on it with Dutch friends for awhile already.
This year is going to be immensely different from last year....it already feels so. In some ways that's great and in others it isn't....such as people being gone. I miss them a lot. *sigh* Such is Dubai. Being involved in the youth music team at church will be extremely different as well, since we'll have different leaders and that in itself will change things. I'm praying it will still be a good thing though.


love,
Cait

P.S. Combinations is amazing. I'll post my official review of it soon.